


Be Mine Forever

by onmycesardiaz



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-01 13:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onmycesardiaz/pseuds/onmycesardiaz
Summary: Peter and Lara Jean have made it through high school and are now beginning a new adventure together....college. How will their love make it through the trials of a long distance relationship and busy schedules? Read Be Mine Forever to find out!





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic for Peter and Lara Jean! Let me know what you think of it :) Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

_Dear Covey,_

_It’s only been three weeks since the last time we were together and it already sucks beyond compare. I’ve already looked at the scrapbook you made me like twenty times. It’s just not the same as actually having you here with me. I’m pretty sure James is tired of hearing me whine about how I much I miss you. He’s even thrown a football at me a couple times because of it. Like, what the hell! Those balls fucking hurt. I told him that if he throws it at me again I’m kicking his ass. He’s already on thin ice for calling you hot the other day. Not that you aren’t hot. It's just that...only I can call you that. Anyways, college isn’t as fun without you Covey. I can’t wait to see you in October. Stupid September just had to be full of lacrosse games every weekend. Fucking sucks. I just want to be able to kiss you again. I gotta go to practice now but I wanted to make sure I got you your letter this week. I miss you Lara Jean Song Covey. I love you too._

_Always and Forever,_

_Your Peter K._

I can’t help the smile that appears on my face. Peter Kavinksi knows how to make my day without even being in the same state. When he first wrote in my senior yearbook that he was going to write letters to me every week, I thought it was cute. Now I realize why he decided to do it in the first place. With each letter that I get from him I feel like we somehow get closer even though we are miles apart. And the fact that Peter knew that I would need that just shows how much he loves and knows me. Heck, I didn’t even know I would need it! But if these letters didn’t come each week I would miss him even more than I do now.

It’s Wednesday night and I just finished my assignment for my English class. That’s when I remembered that I got Peter’s letter in yesterday and I hadn’t had a chance to read it yet. Seeing his scribbled handwriting on the paper makes my heartache for him. I can even see certain areas where he pressed harder, most likely because he was trying to write quickly to get to practice. I stare for a few more minutes at the letter, trying to picture Peter as he wrote it. I could see him with his hair slightly disheveled and a UVA sweater on, crouched over his desk as he wrote. His scrapbook that I made him lying on part of the desk next to him. I can’t help the deep feeling of satisfaction knowing that other girls see that as soon as they enter his room. I know how handsome Peter is and how much those UVA girls will want him, I’m not stupid. But I also know that as much as they want him, he’s mine. Only mine.

The image in my head makes me miss him even more, so I grab my phone off of the nightstand and dial his number. It rings about two times before his amazing voice is heard, “I was just thinking about you.”

And just like that he makes butterflies erupt in my stomach, with just six little words. Even though Peter and I have been together for a couple of years now, I still get goosebumps when he says things like that.

“I read your letter,” I say. You can hear some ruffling on his side of the phone, most likely getting situated into bed.

“And? What did you think of it?”

“My favorite part was when you mentioned that James called me hot.” I have to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh that comes up when I picture the scowl that he gets when he gets jealous. I just think it’s incredibly sexy when he gets somewhat jealous. It makes me feel good to know that he’s afraid to lose me as much as I’m afraid to lose him.

“That is not funny Lara Jean! It took everything in me not to beat his ass when he said it.”

I can hear the gruffness in his voice and I can’t help but sigh at the sound of his voice. God I miss him. I miss the feeling of his arms around me. The way that I feel when he looks at me with those perfect eyes of his. The jolt of electricity that runs throughout my entire body when we kiss. I miss it all.

“Lara Jean? Are you okay? Why are you so quiet? I promise I wasn’t actually going to beat his ass.” Peter’s frantic voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

I let out a soft giggle, “It’s not that. I just miss you is all. You were right, even though it’s only been three weeks it feels like forever,” I can feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes at the thought of not seeing Peter for a month and a half.

Peter sighs himself and I can see him rubbing his hand over his face, something he does when he’s trying to keep his emotions in check. “I know baby. But October will be here before you know it. I’ll even try to come during one of the weekends closer to halloween so we can go to a party and do the cheesy couple costume thing I know you love so much.”

“But Halloween is so far away,” I mumble, even though the thought of doing a cheesy couple costume with Peter excites me.

“I wish I could have come in September but all of my weekends are full of games. My first one starts this weekend. Just so happens to be Labor Day weekend. The stands are probably gonna be packed. I wish you could have come to it.”

Wait… Labor Day weekend? Crap! I completely forgot about Labor Day! Quickly, I jump up from my bed and go over to my planner that has my academic planner in it. I scan the page for September and sure enough I have Labor Day off. I then check my planner to see if I have anything on the books. And just my luck, there’s nothing there. Yes!

“Covey? Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve gone quiet on me again.”

Oh snap, Peter. I’m about to tell him what I just discovered when a thought suddenly crosses my mind. “Yeah I’m okay. I was just looking at my schedule tomorrow to see around what time I can call you. You know, besides before bed.”

“Oh, okay. Well if you want to call me every hour on the hour I’m not opposed to it.” I could hear the small smirk on his face as he spoke.

I roll my eyes at him even though he can’t see me, “Like our schedules would allow us to do that.”

“For you Covey, I would make it work.” His words almost make me cry because I know what he said is true. He would do pretty much anything for me. Heck, he even considered losing his scholarship and coming to UNC just to be with me next year if I stay!

“I know you would. And I would do the same for you.”

That is why I decided not to tell him about me being off on Labor Day. And that I plan on coming down to UVA to see him play. Because I want to see the look of surprise and excitement on his eyes when he sees me in the stands at his first college lacrosse game.

After I say goodnight to Peter, I’m lying in bed attempting to sleep. But I can’t get my mind to turn off. I just keep playing the moment Peter sees me and the feeling of his arms wrapping around me and his lips on mine, and I feel like I can’t breathe from excitement. For the first time in three weeks, I feel like I’m alive again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your great comments! I am having a blast writing this! If you have any ideas please let me know and I will definitely try to incorporate them into the story! :)

“So let me get this straight,” my roommate, Haley, says the next morning over breakfast, “You want to borrow my car to drive four hours to surprise your boyfriend at his first lacrosse game?” 

 

I bite my lower lip, a nasty habit I have when I’m nervous as I reply, “Yes. Well technically I want to drive three hours and 25 minutes, but that’s besides the point.” 

 

Haley and I hit it off right away when we first met. I remember walking into our dorm room, seeing a copy of  _ The Notebook _ on her nightstand and thinking to myself that this was going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And I was right. We bonded over our love for romance, grand gestures, and John Hughes movies. She’s basically everything I could have asked for in a roommate. Plus, she was a sophomore. Which means she’s able to have her car on campus. So naturally she was the first person I thought of to ask for help with my transportation issue of getting to UVA. Now that I’m sitting across from her in person and asking though, my nerves are getting the best of me. I can feel the sinking feeling that she is going to say no begin to form. 

 

And it becomes all too real when I hear her say the word herself. “No,” she says, as she takes a bite of her breakfast. 

 

All of the excitement I felt last night just deflated at that one word. I guess you could see it in my face too because Haley just laughs and shakes her head, “Calm down Lara Jean. I wasn’t finished yet. Gosh, let a girl chew would you?” She takes a drink of water before continuing, “Okay, no Lara Jean you cannot borrow my car to see your beloved Peter. You can, however, borrow me AND my car so that I can drive you three hours and 25 minutes so that you can surprise him.” 

 

I could myself reinflating as her statement resonated with me. A huge smile spread across my face, “Wait, are you serious?” 

 

“Of course I’m serious! First, I may only know for about three weeks now but I do recall telling me that you aren’t super great at driving. Not about to risk my beautiful car. And second, did you forget that I’m just as much of a romantic as you are? And since my love life is currently non existent, I have to live vicariously through you. I’ll drive you there, see your big reunion from far away and meet up with some friends over there so you guys can spend the weekend together. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet my own romeo over there.” Haley pops the last of her french toast into her mouth as she finishes speaking. 

 

I can’t help but laugh at her, “You know, Peter has a roommate that’s single.” 

 

Haley’s eyebrows raise up at my comment, “Well if he’s anything like your Peter, I’m sure we will have plenty of weekends like this one.” 

 

——

 

Later that day, I’m sitting in my English class waiting for the professor to arrive. There’s about twenty minutes until class starts so most of the other students haven’t even showed up yet. I decided to show up early today to take some time to scroll through the photos I have on my phone. Ever since I found out that my Peter trip was a for sure thing I’ve been in a very sentimental mood. 

 

Pictures of kitty, daddy, and Margot fill my screen from the summer. With each picture I see I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. I can almost hear their voices coming from the picture. And it makes me wonder how things are going with them all. I make it a point to talk to Kitty and daddy once a week. Margot too, even though she’s back in Scotland. But I can’t help feeling as if I’m missing key moments in their life. Sure they make sure to mention what they consider big things when we talk, but what about all the other stuff? The little things that seem unimportant to them but are really everything to me. The way Kitty likes to style her hair, or paint her nails. The way Daddy makes his coffee or the way Trina organizes the fridge. The things that make them, well, them. How much of that has changed or will change when I’m not there? How much have I already missed? 

 

And then there’s Peter. Never in a million years would I have believed that I would be yearning to be back with Peter Kavinsky. Why? Because never did I think I would ever be with Peter Kavinksy in the first place. When I think back on the past couple of years, it feels like a whirlwind. All of the time spent with Peter means so much to me and yet seems like nothing. Nothing as in the sense of it not being enough. I feel like I didn’t have enough time with him. Like we just got together and now we are having to live miles apart from each other. And I guess it’s true. Two years isn’t really a long time if you think about it. At least it isn’t to me. I need more time with Peter. I need as much time as I can get with him. I need forever with him. 

 

A flash of us getting married goes through my head and it both excites and frightens me. It’s not the first time I’ve thought of it. I’ve actually pictured it a lot recently. But the deep, insecure Lara Jean is always afraid that it won’t happen. Afraid that he will meet someone else at UVA and that I will just be forgotten. Put away into his own version of a hatbox to only be thought about on occasion until eventually not at all. 

 

“Hey Covey, are you alright?” 

 

I look up from my phone, breaking out of my downward spiral at the name Peter usually calls me. 

 

But instead of it being the ever handsome boy I get to call my boyfriend, it’s the boy I met three weeks ago the first day of English. His name is Noah Baker. 

 

“Oh hey Noah! Yeah I’m okay. Just thinking about my family and Peter,” I reply, locking my phone and placing it face down on my desk. 

 

Noah takes the seat next to mine, “Ah yes. The weekly ‘I feel like I’m missing everything important about the ones I love’ breakdown.” 

 

“I do not do this weekly!” I exclaim. “Do I?” 

 

Noah chuckles, “I’m sorry to break it to you, Covey, but you do.” 

 

The way he calls me Covey reminds me of Peter and sends chills down my spine. No one else has called me Covey except Peter. It feels weird coming from Noah but I don’t want to be rude so I don’t say anything about it. 

 

Just then my phone buzzes. I pick it up to see a text from none other than Peter. 

 

_ My math class is about to start but I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you and that I love you, Covey.  _

 

A small smile crept on my face, all of my previous thoughts leaving my mind. It doesn’t matter what the deep, insecure Lara Jean feels. Because the new, happy Lara Jean that came out when I met Peter knows that we are forever. 

 

“Lara Jean?” Noah asks. 

 

“Huh what?” I respond, still looking at my phone. I finally look up at him, “Oh yeah I’m great. Just got a text from Peter.” 

 

“Oh okay. Cool.” Noah responds, before pulling his own phone and looking at it. I swear there was something off with how he responded but I didn’t have much time to think about before the professor walked in and began class. 

 

—

 

“Where are we going?” I ask Haley later that night. I got back to our dorm and as soon as I sat my bag down on my bed Haley came out of the restroom and pulled me out of the room by the arm. Now here were are twenty five minutes later, in her car on the way to god knows where. 

 

“To do something reckless and fun,” Haley replies reaching to turn up the radio. Bazzi is playing right now and I can’t help but smile. Peter loves Bazzi. 

 

“Haley you know I don’t do anything reckless. Chris has been trying to get me to do something for years. She hasn’t succeeded yet.” 

 

Finally, we pull over into a strip mall and Haley parks in front of one of the stores there, “Well Chris is Chris and I am me. Besides, I know you will do this.”  

 

“And how exactly do you know I would do...whatever it is we are doing?” My eyebrows furrow in both confusion and worry. What is Haley about to make me do? Whenever Chris would try to get me to go out and do things I always had Peter to fall back on. But now Peter is miles away and Haley has a mischievous look in her eye. 

 

Haley shrugs and she pulls her keys out of the ignition, “Because you talk in your sleep Lara Jean. And you dreamt about doing this.” And just like that she opens her door and gets out of the car. 

 

I sleep talk? I mean I know Kitty has mentioned it to me before, but she’s Kitty and I thought she was messing with me. Margot has never mentioned it to me but that may be because she knows how embarrassed I would get. Especially because most of my dreams as of late have been about a certain lacrosse player. 

 

Hesitantly, I open the door and follow Haley out and to our mystery destination. I finally look at the place we are parked in front of. In bright neon letters you can see the name of the place as clear as day:  _ Keller’s Tattoo Parlor.  _

 

Oh no. Oh no no no no. Does Haley think I’m about to get a tattoo? “Haley I cannot get a tattoo!” 

 

“Why not? You were mumbling about it the other night. Something about tattoos, Peter, and remembering love forever.” Haley waves her hand in the air as if it’s no big deal. 

 

I did dream about it. I dreamt that I got a tattoo to remember the love that I have for Peter. Because even if it doesn’t work out for us for some reason I would look at the tattoo and remember how intense and beautiful my first real love was. In my dream it seemed like a great idea, but now that I’m really standing in front of the place where I can get one, I’m not so sure. 

 

Shakily I say, “Haley that was a dream. It doesn’t mean I should actually go out and do it.” 

 

Haley is standing in front of me now, “Why not? Look Lara Jean, you made all your other dreams a reality. You got the guy, you got the school, and you’ve got a great family. Why not make this dream a reality?” She places her hands on both of my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes, “You deserve something to look back on so that you can always remember this feeling that you have now with Peter.” 

 

And I don’t know if it was Haley’s words, the memories of my dreams, or the fact that I’m a little sleep deprived….but I found myself saying, “Okay. Let’s do it.” 


	3. Chapter Three

“Lara Jean will you please stop moving!” Haley exclaims, “I can’t concentrate on the road with you fidgeting like that.” 

 

I sigh, “I’m sorry! It’s just very uncomfortable for me to sit in one spot for a certain period of time right now.” 

 

It’s Saturday morning and we have been in the car for the past three hours. Haley insisted on driving straight through, much to my complaint. I had to practically beg her to stop and let me use the restroom once. 

 

“Well that’s your fault for getting a tramp stamp,” Haley retorts, a sly smile gracing her lips. 

 

I let out a shocked gasp and hit her arm, “It is not a tramp stamp!” 

 

Haley glances at me from the corner of my eye, “Kinda is.” 

 

I let out a little huff and cross my arms over my chest, trying desperately not to lean too far back in fear of irritating my new permanent marking that is definitely NOT a tramp stamp. 

 

Haley let out a laugh at my expense, “I’m just messing with you LJ. Just because a majority of hookers get a tattoo in the same spot you got one does not make it a tramp stamp. What did you end up getting anyways? I still think it was unnecessary to make me wait in the car.” 

 

I roll my eyes at her hooker comment and try not to let myself overthink the placement of my tattoo because lord knows I will. “I want Peter to be the first one to see it.” 

 

And it’s true. Something felt wrong to me to let Haley or anyone else see it before Peter did. This was, after all, a symbol of the love I have for him. About how permanent I feel about him. He deserves to be the first one to see it. Maybe the only one to if I can manage it. 

 

“Ugh, stop. You are making my very single and lonely heart hurt from how freaking in love you are,” Haley pretend whines. Then she glances at me and sends a quick wink my way. 

 

I can’t help but smile at her. Sometimes I forget I only met her three weeks ago. In a way, she makes me feel close to Chris, because she reminds me so much of her at times. My phone buzzes and I glance down at it to see a text from Peter. I quickly open it. 

 

_ Good Morning Covey. About to spend the day conditioning and preparing for my first game tonight. Gotta make sure I take all the precautions since my good luck charm can’t be here ;)  _

 

Even I have to roll my eyes at the cheesy grin I get as I reply to him. 

 

_ Good Morning :) have a good day babe. I know you’re gonna be great! You don’t need me there for you to win. Can’t wait to talk to you tonight and hear all about it. xx  _

 

I can’t help but let out a little giggle at the thought of Peter’s face when he sees me at the game. I switch over to my GPS app and see that we have about twenty more minutes before we make it into down. 

 

“We’re almost there,” I tell Haley. 

 

“Thank god! I am so tired of sitting in this car,” Haley exclaims, “Where are we going anyways? Isn’t Peter’s game not until 7pm?” 

 

“Yeah but since I’m in town I want to go by my house and spend some time with my family if that’s okay with you.” 

 

Haley takes a moment to look over at me, “Hell yeah it is! I can’t wait to meet the famous Kitty Song Covey in person.” 

 

The thought of walking into my home for the first time in three weeks excites me. I just hope not too much has changed. 

 

— 

 

The first thing I think of when I walk into the house is that it’s too quiet. Saturday mornings were always a noisefest in the Covey home. Kitty and Peter would debate about who would be getting the first plate at breakfast while Daddy and Trina sat on the couch in the living room watching the morning news and drinking coffee. Even Margot would chime in every now and then when she was in town with some random fact about Scotland or something. But now, as I stand in the middle of the living room, everything was eerie quiet. 

 

“Uh, did someone die?” Haley whispers loudly, “because it’s quiet. Like really quiet.” 

 

“I know. This isn’t normal,” I reply, my eyebrows furrowing from confusion. I look around the room one more time as if the answer to the question is somewhere around it before making my way towards the stairs. “You can set your stuff up in my room. I’ll show you where it’s at and then I’m going to go check on Kitty.” 

 

Haley follows me up the stairs and we drop our stuff off in my room before walking down the hall to Kitty’s room. I open the door slowly and I peek my head in. I see her lying in bed, still asleep. So unusual. Have I really been gone long enough for their entire routine to change? 

 

I turn back to Haley, “She’s asleep still. I’m gonna wake her up. Give me a minute.” Haley nods in response and I walk into Kitty’s room. I make it over to her bed and I gently shake her sleeping form. She doesn’t budge. Kitty always was a heavy sleeper. I try again, this time bending down to speak to her as well, “Kitty, it’s time to wake up.” Still nothing. God, she’s harder to wake up than a bear in hibernation. I pull the sheets away from her and shake her again. “Kitty come on. Wake up!” 

 

Finally, she begins to stir. “Ugh Peter give me like five more minutes please,” Kitty mumbles as she lets out a yawn and turns around the other way. Wait, what? Peter? Why would Peter be waking her up?

 

I pull the sheets off of her completely and say loudly, “Katherine Song Covey you wake up right now!” 

 

Kitty lets out a little laugh, “God do all couples start sounding like each other? You sounded a lot like Lara Jean just then.” 

 

I try to control the eye roll I feel coming at her words, “That’s because it is Lara Jean you dummy.” 

 

Finally she turns around to face me again and her eyes open fully. “Lars Jean it is you!” She shoots up from the bed and wraps her arms around me, “I didn’t know you were coming home!” 

 

I let out a soft chuckle and wrap my arms around her, “That’s because I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

 

“Well I’m glad you’re here. Home isn’t the same without you,” Kitty mumbles into my shirt, “but don’t quote me on that.” 

 

My chest tightens at her words. Even if I could never tell anyone she said it, I don’t care. I know she said it and that’s all that matters to me. I wrap my arms around her tighter, “College isn’t the same as home either. I miss my Kitty time.” She pulls back to look at me, a huge smile on her face. 

 

Then I remember the reason why I came to find her in the first place, “Kitty, why is it so quiet in the house and why did you think I was Peter?” 

 

“Oh well Daddy has been working Saturday mornings the past couple of weekends since you left and Trina likes to sleep in so Peter picks me up so we can have breakfast at the diner,” she responds casually, lifting her shoulders up slightly as if it should be obvious. 

 

“You guys have breakfast together every Saturday? Why didn’t either one of you tell me?” 

 

“We agreed that it would make you too sad to find out about it over the phone so we decided to wait until you were here one weekend with us,” she reaches for her phone on her nightstand as glances at the time, “He should be here any minute now. I should probably get ready. He’s going to freak when he sees you.” 

 

Peter is coming over to my house right now? He should be here any minute? This is not good! “No! He can’t know I’m here yet. I’m surprising him at his first game tonight.” 

 

Kitty stops looking for clothes to wear and looks at me, “Well you better get to hiding then, and not in your room. He always makes a stop there before we leave. It’s kinda creepy.” 

 

Panic starts to overtake my body, “Well where should I hide then?” 

 

Kitty rolls her eyes at me like it should be the most obvious thing in the world, “In Margot’s room. He’ll never know to go in there. Geez, I thought college was supposed to make you smarter.” 

 

Kitty’s sass brings a smile to my face. I didn’t realize how much I missed doing this with her. The longing feeling of wanting to be able to do this more often grows in the pit of my stomach. 

 

Just then, Haley walks through the door. Oh god I forgot she was waiting on me. “Hey, sorry to interrupt but I’m pretty sure your lover boy just pulled up.” 

 

Kitty’s eyes widen at the sight of a stranger in her room, “Who are you?” 

 

“Uh, Kitty this is Haley. Haley this is Kitty,” I say quickly, already pulling Haley out the door with me again. 

 

“You can call me Katherine!” Kitty shouts after us before closing her own door to presumably change her clothes. 

 

“We need to move our bags from my room to my sister Margot’s room,” I explain, grabbing my bag and walking back out. Haley grabs hers and follows me to Margot’s room. We drop our bags on the floor and Haley plops herself down on the bed, “What is Peter doing here anyways?” 

 

“Apparently he and Kitty have been having breakfast together at a nearby diner the past few Saturdays,” I reply. I crack open the door and peek outside. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs makes my heart race and I back further in the room. 

 

“Well that’s cute. I don’t think I ever had a boyfriend that said more than hi to my siblings. If you don’t marry him LJ, I will,” Haley says with her eyes closed. 

 

I can’t help the blush that appears on my face at her words. Another flash of Peter and I at the altar flashes through my head. The thought makes me feel slightly dizzy. 

 

Just as the footsteps stop, which means he made it to the top of the stairs, Kitty comes rushing out of her room. “I’m ready!” she exclaims, standing right in front of the door to Margot’s room. She glances in my direction slightly and we briefly make eye contact. 

 

“Why are you up already? It usually takes an army to get you up,” Peter responds. The sound of his voice so close to me makes me want to run out, wrap my arms around him, and kiss him until I can’t breathe anymore.

 

“Yeah well I couldn’t sleep. I had this weird dream about spiders that kept me up. So I need some pancakes to help reconcile my lack of sleep.” She throws in a nice hand on her hip for added effort. 

 

Peter lets out a soft chuckle at her, “Alright little Miss Sass, your chariot awaits.” 

 

Kitty’s face grows into a big smile. I could just picture Peter doing something dramatic and over the top for her. The way he is with Kitty is one of the main reasons why I love him so much. 

 

“No wonder Lara Jean likes you, you’re about as corny as the people in those bodice rippers she reads,” she laughs. 

 

“Hey! I am not corny!” Peter retorts, his perfect pout appearing in my head as he speaks. 

 

Kitty just responds by rolling her eyes. She begins her walk towards the stairs, obviously trying to get him to leave. I almost breathe a sigh of relief as I turn to look at Haley. She’s sitting up on the bed now and her head is slightly tilted back and her nose is scrunched up. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong but I get cut off by her loud “Achoo!” 

 

I wince at the noise and pray that Kitty and Peter are far enough away not to hear it. 

 

Unfortunate for me, however, I hear Peter’s deep voice ask Kitty,  “What was that?” 

 

Well, frick me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for continuing to read! I love all of your comments and ideas. Let me know what you think of this chapter! :)


	4. Chapter Four

_ Kitty just responds by rolling her eyes. She begins her walk towards the stairs, obviously trying to get him to leave. I almost breathe a sigh of relief as I turn to look at Haley. She’s sitting up on the bed now and her head is slightly tilted back and her nose is scrunched up. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong but I get cut off by her loud “Achoo!”  _

 

_ I wince at the noise and pray that Kitty and Peter are far enough away not to hear it.  _

 

_ Unfortunate for me, however, I hear Peter’s deep voice ask Kitty,  “What was that?”  _

 

“Uh, what was what?” I hear Kitty respond, her voice quavering with uncertainty. 

 

“You didn’t hear that noise? It sounded like someone sneezed. Is there someone else here?” Peter questions. 

 

Oh god, he’s going to find out I’m here. So much for a romantic surprise. Guess I’ll have to settle for a semi embarrassing one instead. 

 

“Of course there’s no one else here! Who do you think I am? I believe it was you and Lara Jean that were the sneaking in kind.” I could just see Kitty’s pointed glare in Peter’s direction. 

 

“Well uh okay,” Peter coughs nervously, “Where did that sneeze come from then?” Despite my panic of being found I still have to laugh a little at how nervous Peter gets when he realizes how much Kitty knows about our relationship. Not that I would tell her,or anything. Kitty is just very good at finding out information she feels like is important. 

 

“Jamie Foxx-Pickle. I’ve been using this new perfume and he’s sensitive to it. Makes him sneeze like crazy when I first put it on. But I like it too much to change it so he’s just gonna have to deal.” 

 

There’s a moment of silence before Peter responds. “Oh, um, okay then. Guess we better get going,” he mumbles, “You wait for me downstairs. I’m just gonna be a few minutes.” 

 

“Yeah yeah,” Kitty retorts, “I know the drill.” I hear her footsteps go down the stairs. 

 

My sister is an official genius. I make a mental note to make her all the cookies she wants before I leave. Although her excuse was something that was definitely questionable, Peter was too caught off guard about her sneaking in comment to press further. And I’m pretty sure Kitty knew that. After about another ten minutes I finally hear Peter go down the stairs and the front door close. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. 

 

“I am so sorry! I was trying to control it but it just came out!” Haley exclaims, throwing herself back on the bed. 

 

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” I reply wearily walking over to the bed before plopping down beside her. 

 

Haley turns her whole body over so that she’s facing me, tucking her hands beneath her head as a form of a pillow. “What was he doing up here after Kitty went downstairs?” 

 

“He was in my room. Kitty says he just goes in there when he comes over. I don’t really know what he does,” I reply, looking up at the ceiling. What does Peter do in there? Does he just lie on my bed? Or does he walk around and pick things up randomly? I can’t fathom what interests him so much about my room that he stops in there so much. 

 

“He really does love you. I haven’t even met him yet but I can still tell that he does. You are really a lucky girl,” Haley says. My eyes connect with hers and there’s an undertone of seriousness in them. It’s probably the most serious I’ve seen her. 

 

I give her a slight nod and look back up at the ceiling, “I know I am. I’m the luckiest girl.” 

 

—

 

“A girl could get used to this,” Haley says, fanning herself, watching the boys move along the field. 

 

I roll my eyes playfully at her as I watch the other team Peter is playing against warm up. It’s about 35 minutes until the game is supposed to start. Kitty mentioned that Peter told her this morning that they probably won’t be out on the field until thirty minutes before the game started. I get the sense that Kitty pulled that information out of him for me. She was very excited when she came back from breakfast with him. She swore she made sure to evade things all Lara Jean centered so she wouldn’t let anything slip. Trina was up by the time she got home so I spent some time telling them about my plan. I made sure to wear a shirt that resembled the UVA colors and I even painted his number on my cheek, just like old times. I’m going to make my presence known before the game, sneaking up behind him at some point. “You’ve got to say something really clever when you sneak up behind him,” Kitty explains, “you know, make it memorable.” 

 

“Don’t you think me showing up in the first place to surprise him is memorable enough?” I retort. 

 

Kitty just shrugs, “Maybe. But saying something clever will definitely make it something to remember.” 

 

Which brings us to the matter at hand. Haley and I are standing in the sidelines with other people, waiting for the team to come out on the field. Haley has preoccupied herself by trying to find the hottest guy on the other team. Although she says it’s hard to choose because all of them are their own kind of hot. I must admit that they are indeed attractive. If I didn’t have my very own lacrosse player I’m sure I would be just like Haley. 

 

Just then, Peter’s team makes their way onto the field. My eyes start to immediately scan through the crowd, looking for him. My heartbeat starts to pick up at the thought of seeing him again with my own two eyes. No need for a computer or phone screen to be between us. 

 

I can practically hear my heartbeat in my ears by the time I actually spot him. He’s near the bench where they sit, back towards me. The number 15 and his last name on his jersey being the first thing I see. There he is. The boy that makes me weak in the knees and yet makes me feel like I can conquer anything. 

 

“What are you waiting for!” Haley shouts, her attention now on me and not the field full of hot lacrosse players, “Go kiss your man!” 

 

I take a moment to collect myself before giving her an all too enthusiastic nod and begin my walk over to him. 

 

I can feel myself shaking as I finally make it to where he is. I’m standing behind him now, so close that if I reach my hand out I can touch him.

 

Which is exactly what I do. I reach out and tap him on his shoulder. “Sorry to bother you, but I thought you might need your good luck charm before the game.” God that sounded so much better in my head when I rehearsed it earlier. 

 

His body stiffens and he stops messing with whatever he was doing. He turns around slowly, his face full of confusion, “Lara Jean?” 

 

“Hi,” I squeak out, strangely self conscious under his gaze. 

 

His eyes begin to light up and his face breaks into a huge grin, “Covey!” I barely have time to register what’s happening before he wraps his arms around me and lifts me up to him, my feet leaving the ground. I instinctively wrap my arms around the back of his neck as he twirls us around in a circle. 

 

I feel kinda silly for putting on such a display in front of all his teammates but frankly when I’m with Peter I really don’t care what others think of us anymore. He leans downward slightly and his lips meet mine. It’s been so long since we’ve actually kissed. So long that I almost forgot what it felt like to actually do it. Almost. Now that it’s happening again I feel like a breath I was missing is being put back into me. 

 

I pull back after a moment however, because even though I’m comfortable being with him around others, I’m still not completely keen on such public PDA. 

 

Peter sets me down and runs his hands down my arms until interlocking his hands with mine. “What are you doing here?” he sputters out, a smile still on his face, “How did you get here?” 

 

A sudden panicked look crosses his face, “You didn’t take the bus all the way over here did you?” 

 

I laugh a little at him and how worried he looks about me being on a bus with a bunch of random strangers for so long, “No I didn't take the bus. Haley insisted on driving me here.” 

 

Relief appears on his face as he pulls me in and wraps his arms around me for another hug, “Okay good. Can’t lose you to any serial killers yet Covey. I’ve got too much planned for our future.” 

 

A sudden shiver goes throughout my body at his words. He’s thinking about our future.  _ Our  _ future. I bite my lip to stop the stupid big smile from appearing on my face at how excited I am over that. 

 

A loud whistle startles me and I jump slightly at the noise. Peter just chuckled slightly at me, laying a kiss on top of my head. 

 

“Kavinsky! Stop smothering that poor girl and get your ass on the field to warm up!” Peter’s coach yells at him. 

 

I pull back out of his hold and look up at him, “Go. I’ll be in the bleachers cheering you on.” 

 

“You better be,” he replies, “Am I going to have some one on one Lara Jean time after the game or am I going to have to share you?” 

 

I shake my head slightly, “No sharing necessary. I’m all yours tonight.” 

 

He leans down and gives me another quick kiss and whispers, “You’re all mine all the time,” before running off onto the field to warm up. 

 

I’m still smiling when I get to my seat with Kitty, Trina and Haley.

 

“I have never seen you smile like that,” Haley comments, turning to look at me, a small smile on her own lips. Kitty overhears and leans over to interject, “That’s her ‘I’ve just been kissed by Peter Kavinsky’ smile. She wears it so often when they are together I’m surprised her face just doesn’t stay that way.” 

 

Haley laughs at that and I just roll my eyes at her. I don’t have any snarky remarks for her though because I know she’s right. Something about being with Peter makes me feel almost…invincible. 

 

I take a moment to take in the moment. There are always those moments in our life that when they are happening we know we will remember them for the rest of time. For me, this is one of those moments. Sitting with Haley and my family. Watching the boy of my dreams warm up to play his first college lacrosse game. The way he looks up at the stands searching for what I know is me. The way he smiles and winks at me when he finds me, and the way my stomach flutters when he does it. Yes, this is a moment I will remember for the rest of time. It goes tucked into my mental hat box. To be there to be pulled out when I want to remember it. Because I know that this moment alone could be the reason that a deep feeling of longing to be here all the time begins to form. So subtle as to where it could be dismissed but still deep enough to be felt. I know that although I feel like UNC is right for me, it’s not home. Virginia is home. My family is home. Peter Kavinksy...he’s definitely home. My home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Your boy has some game,” Haley states, “He was unstoppable on the field!” She insisted on standing with me as I waited for Peter after the game. Most likely so she could officially meet him. I obliged simply because I do want Haley and Peter to meet. They are the biggest parts of my life and the thought of them getting to know each other excites me. 

 

“I always did love watching him play,” I murmur, a timid smile appearing. There was always just something about how confident Peter was on the field that got to me. It’s a different type of confidence than he already has naturally. This one is more fierce, more determined. I love seeing him like that. 

 

My phone buzzing brings me out of my thoughts. I pull my phone out and see I have a text message from Noah, the guy from my English class. 

 

_ Hey Covey! You up for a night of studying? :)  _

 

I frown slightly at the way he used Covey so freely. I don’t really like being called by my last name. Only by Peter. I type out a quick response, letting him know that I can’t. 

 

_ Sorry but I’m not in town! Haley and I drove down so I can see Peter and my family. Maybe next time! :)  _

 

I send the message and re-pocket my phone. 

 

“Who were you texting?” Haley questions, “Your mood seemed to change slightly.” 

 

“Oh it was Noah Baker. You know, the one from my English class? He wanted to get together and study but I told him we were out of town.” 

 

Haley lets out a small scoff at my words. “I don’t know why you hang out with that guy. He gives me creeper vibes.” 

 

I laugh out loud at that. “What on earth are creeper vibes?” I gasp out. 

 

Haley narrows her eyes at me, “Creeper vibes as in you better not drink anything he brings you. I don’t like the way he looks at you.” 

 

“Haley, you’ve been around us together like once.” 

 

“Once was all I needed. Just be careful LJ.” 

 

I nod my head at her, my eyebrows scrunching up in the process. Did Noah really look at me weird? I never noticed any weird looks. If I’m honest, I never really payed that close attention to him. Sure, he was decent looking. But I really only thought of him as a cool friend to have in class. Nothing more. He was more of a passing thought than anything. I doubt I was anything more to him. I’m sure Haley was just being way too paranoid and over dramatic. 

 

Seeing Peter make his way across the field, still dressed in his uniform, made me forget all thoughts of Noah. I never quite understood why a sweaty Peter in his uniform made me feel so tingly everywhere. But it does. 

 

“Hey there, lucky charm,” he says, leaning down to kiss me, “We won because of you.” I respond to his kiss immediately, grinning into it. Once we pull away from each other, I respond, “I had nothing to do with you guys winning. That was all you. You were amazing!” 

 

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I don’t even mind how sweaty he is. He feels just like Peter and I love it.

 

“Well I played extra good tonight to impress someone,” he remarks, looking down at me. I got lost in his eyes and I can’t help the sigh that comes out, “Consider her impressed.” 

 

Haley pretend gags, “And consider me grossed out.” 

 

My eyes widen slightly and I can feel my cheeks turning a soft pink. I completely forgot she was here with us. I bury my head in Peter’s chest to hide my embarrassment. 

 

Peter chuckles and I can feel the vibrations from his chest, “You must be Haley.” 

 

“The one and only!” Haley responds. I can hear the smile in her voice, “And you must be the boy Lara Jean cannot stop talking about.”

 

My cheeks redden even more at her words, “I do not talk about him that much!” My words are muffled though because my face is still buried in Peter’s jersey, taking in the scent of grass, sweat, and something that is only Peter. 

 

Haley laughs, “Sure LJ, whatever you say. Peter, it was nice to finally put a physical body with the name. I should probably go though. Kitty and Trina are waiting on me in the car.” 

 

Peter replies with a “It was nice to meet you too,” at the same time that I say, “I’m never telling you anything again!” 

 

I lift my head to look over at her. She’s already walking away, but she turns around and winks at me, “You love me too much!” 

 

I stick my tongue out at her in the ever mature response. She’s right though. I love her too much to keep anything from her. After she’s fully gone, I look back up at Peter. He’s got this soft smirk on his face.

“What?” I ask. 

 

“You talk about me a lot huh?” Peter states. 

 

I roll my eyes at him and use one of my hands to swat him on his chest, “Oh shut up. Can we go now?” 

 

“I love that you talk about me. I talk about you all the time,” Peter has a sparkle in his eye as he answers, “Come on.” He pulls out of our embrace and grabs one of my hands, leading me to his car. I bite my lip to contain the smile I have about his confession of talking about me all the time. 

 

I can’t help the feeling of self satisfaction I get from hearing him say that. 

 

\---

 

Instead of going back to Peter’s dorm room, we decide to go to his house instead. His mom and Owen are gone for the weekend on a little trip to the beach. Peter would have gone as well but his lacrosse game kept him here, which is a plus for me because I get to have some alone time with him. 

 

“Is it weird that I’ve missed this house almost as much as my own?” I question, following Peter up the stairs to his room. 

 

“Nah, if I wasn’t so close I would miss this house and your house too,” Peter replies. 

 

We enter his room and I can’t help the feeling of nostalgia that rushes through me. Everything in his room is almost exactly how it was the last time I saw it. Sure, I know it’s only been about a month or so, but when I live with the ever growing fear of things changing when I’m gone it’s nice to know when things haven’t. 

 

I must have been standing in the doorway for too long because Peter stops looking for a change of clothes and looks at me, “You okay babe?” 

 

I break out of my trance and send him a reassuring smile, “Yeah I’m okay. Just glad to be back here is all.” 

 

He returns my smile, walking over to me. He stops right in front of me and grabs both of my hands with his, “Well we are glad you are back here too.” 

 

A tilt my head to the right a little and my eyebrows furrow slightly, “We?” 

 

“Yes, we. Me and my room.” 

 

“You’re speaking for your room now?” I say with a laugh. 

 

Peter puts on his best offended look, “Are you laughing at me?” 

 

“A little,” I shrug. His face forms into a pout causing him to look absolutely adorable. 

 

“Well now my room and I are highly offended by your laughter,” he retorts, backing away from me to go sit on his bed, arms crossed over his chest and his face set to a mock scowl. 

 

I can’t help but let out a little giggle at that. I walk over to him and place my hands on his shoulders, “Peter, you don’t even sleep in this room anymore.” 

 

“Doesn’t matter,” he mumbles back, looking straight forward to ignore my gaze. 

 

I inwardly roll my eyes at how slightly childish this all is, but really I love it. I move my hands to cup his cheeks and force him to look up at me, “I’m sorry I laughed at you. I’m happy you and your room missed me.” 

 

Peter tries to keep a straight face as he responds, but I see the glint of humor in his eyes, “Really?” 

 

I nod my head in reply, a small smile on my face, “Really. A lot of great memories were made in this room.” Which is true. A lot of firsts were made in this room with Peter. The first time we had our first heavy makeout. The first time I let his hands roam a little freely. The first time my hands roamed a little freely. The first time we both had our shirts off…. 

 

Peter’s face breaks out into a big smile, obviously remembering just as I am. “Hell yeah. Some fucking great memories.” He wraps his arms around my waist then, pulling me back on the bed as he falls backwards on it so he’s laying fully on it now with me on top. Unfortunately, his arms are pressing right into my very sore and tender spot where I got my tattoo and I wince. Before I can even think of Peter not noticing he’s already asking, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” 

 

I push up off of him and sit next to him on the bed, “Yeah I’m fine. You should go take a shower.” I manage a weak smile because the soreness is still there. I hadn’t felt it since the car ride earlier. Maybe because of all my anticipation for the day. Now it was starting to come back with a full force. Peter sits back up too, searching my eyes for an explanation. 

 

“You’re obviously not fine. You winced like you were in pain. Did you hurt yourself or something?” Peter asks. His eyes widen slightly, “Did I hurt you?” I can see the panic start to form in his eyes like earlier. God, I’m going to have to show him now. I can’t let him think he hurt me. 

 

“No no! You didn’t hurt me. I just have a bit of a surprise for you is all.” His eyebrows furrow deep in confusion, “Uh, okay? I don’t understand how a surprise for me can hurt you.” 

 

I look deep into his eyes and take a deep breath. I shakily stand up and turn so my back is facing him. 

 

“Lara Jean, what are you doing?” His voice is full of confusion. 

 

I close my eyes and lift the back of my shirt so my lower back is exposed. I hold my breath as I await his response. 

 

My nerves start to build up as the silence in the room continues. I immediately jump to the conclusion that his inability to speak means he absolutely hates it. 

 

I let my shirt stop back down as I turn around as begin to speak quickly, “Nevermind, it was a stupid idea.” I look down to hide the redness of my face and the tears that are beginning to form. 

 

There’s silence for a moment more before Peter speaks gruffly, “Turn back around.” 

 

I look up at him completely confused. I see that his eyes have turned a shade darker and that both excites and scares me. Slowly, I turn back around so that my back is facing him again. I don’t do anything else, still not sure what he’s planning.

 

I here his bed creak slightly and then I feel his hands lifting up my shirt. He stays like that for a minute or so, I assume just staring at it. I feel one of his hands slowly graze my skin right where the tattoo is and it sends a shiver down my spine. 

 

“Holy fuck,” Peter breathes out. I’m still not sure if he likes it and I can feel the tears threatening to spill out at any moment. I built myself up so much for this moment and if he hates it feels like I will just die right here. 

 

“You got a tattoo,” he says, his voice low. I can’t get my brain and mouth to work together so I just nod my head in response. 

 

“You got a tattoo,” he repeats a little louder, “a tattoo of my jersey number.” 

 

Hearing him say it out loud makes it all the more real to me. I remember frantically thinking about what I should get and landing on the idea of his jersey number. I wanted something that was so very Peter than when I looked at it years later I would remember him just like he is now. That’s when I decided on getting his jersey number 15. Lacrosse is such a big part of his life right now and has been since we got together. And I know he loves it when I would paint it on my face when I went to his games. So I thought,  _ what the heck,  _ and got it. 

 

I nod again as my response, still not able to speak. I don’t understand why he can’t say either that he loves it or if he hates. Just put me out of my misery already! 

 

A loud gasp escapes my mouth when I feel Peter’s lips touch my tattoo. Something I definitely wasn’t expecting. His lips linger there, repeatedly leaving small kisses all over the tattoo. I can feel a deep warmth growing inside me when his lips finally leave my skin. 

 

“Wha-“ I try to get out, completely breathless, “What are you doing?” I can still feel his lips on me even though he’s not kissing it anymore. 

 

He ignores my question and instead asks his own, “Why?” 

 

I don’t understand what he’s asking, so I don’t answer. My brain is way too fuzzy to follow him right now.  “Why what?” 

 

“Why did you get it?” he asks again, this time elaborating. 

 

My voice is shaky as I respond, “Because I wanted something permanent to always remember how much I love you right now.” 

 

Peter doesn’t respond with words, but instead drops my shirt from his grasp and lets out something that sounded like a whimper and growl at the same time. 

 

I turn around to look at him then. I bite my lower lip as I ask, “So you like it then?” 

 

“Damn Covey,” He rasps out, “Of course I like it. In fact, I fucking love it!” 

 

I smile weakly at him, still unsure, “Really?” 

 

Peter lets out a dark chuckle, “Yes really, and I would kiss you right now to show you how much I love it but I’m afraid that if I start I won’t be able to stop.” 

 

I scrunch my eyebrows together slightly, unsure of what he means. Why would he ever need to stop kissing me? I love it when he kisses me, sometimes I get so lost in it that I almost let him go all the way and we almost have se-. 

 

My eyes widen slightly as I realize what he means, “oh.” 

 

“Yeah,” Peter replies. 

 

It’s silent in the room again and I bite my lip because I can’t help the part of me that gets really excited at the thought of having sex with Peter. We almost did it before. Back at beach week. But then we fought and the moment was over. We haven’t brought it back up since. That part of me that wanted to then keeps growing with each and every passing day. 

 

“Ugh Covey! Will you stop biting your lip like that before I completely lose all my control?” Peter exclaims, dragging his hand down his face. 

 

I immediately let go of my lip and I feel my cheeks heat up, “Sorry.” 

 

He looks at me for a moment before saying, “God I love you,” which I respond to with a smile. I love hearing him say that. 

 

He gets up off the bed and heads straight back to his dresser. He picks out a change of clothes and makes his way over to his bathroom. 

 

“I’m going to take a very cold shower,” he says right before closing the door. 

 

I let out a giggle as I flip back onto the bed, smiling like an idiot. I must remember to thank Haley for having such an awesome idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took so long to update! Work has been crazy busy lately! This is probably my longest chapter however! Please let me know what you think :)


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